No matter how good you think you are at something;; you can never stop revising that 'something' because humans are a weird bunch. They remember the most unimportant things but sometimes forgot the most crucial.
I thought I'm good at English. I thought just reading some sappy teenage hormone-driven stories would be enough for me to act as my English language revision. Like most times;; I was wrong this time.
I was being too cocky and too full of myself. I thought everybody should kiss the ground that I walk on;; and shout my name in admiration and always seek me whenever. What a narcissist I am right?
So this is my punishment. Day by day;; my English language skills deteriorating. I felt ashamed to myself and I must admit;; a little bit scared. Cautious is not one of the words that came to mind when somebody was asked to describe my personality. And I am certain I am never the analytical thinker.
That's why I can never make a living off of playing in chess tournaments. I think I'll just waste my time by doing that.
Right now I know that I'm a good English essayer and a better English speaker. So what I don't speak like Shakespeare reincarnated? At least my accent's clear and people can understand what I'm saying.
But why can't I paste a few simple words together when that Arabic pakcik spoke to us in English.
Suddenly I felt a feeling that I haven't felt in a while when it comes to speaking with people in English.
I felt afraid;; I felt intimidated;; I felt my self-confident waver and leaving in my wake the very loud sound of my heartbeats. It's like waking up from a dream where there are streams of rainbows and we can eat unicorns' horns if we want horns ourselves;; to the harsh reality and realization that no;; rainbows cannot be drank and eating horns is about as similar as biting your fingernails which is fisgusting.
Suddenly I realized;; my English sucked. Worse;; it's sucking. I mean;; it's continuing to suck. Why did I let this happen to me? I used to read a lot. That's why I almost never study for English exams because I believe I studied all the time.
At that time I just let another friend of mine to do the English talking. Where is the lioness I useed to be and why is there a black lamb in it's place? Cowering like a coward;; and didn't even have courage to stutter broken English in front of an English speaker. I really need to realize these things earlier.
I don't want to gain new things but at the same time lost my old knowledge. I don't want to trade anything for myu intelligence;; because I know that is the price for other people's respect.
The conclusion of my un-introed ramblings?
I should revise more often.
HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAAHHAHA
I love short and simple conclusions the most.
I thought I'm good at English. I thought just reading some sappy teenage hormone-driven stories would be enough for me to act as my English language revision. Like most times;; I was wrong this time.
I was being too cocky and too full of myself. I thought everybody should kiss the ground that I walk on;; and shout my name in admiration and always seek me whenever. What a narcissist I am right?
So this is my punishment. Day by day;; my English language skills deteriorating. I felt ashamed to myself and I must admit;; a little bit scared. Cautious is not one of the words that came to mind when somebody was asked to describe my personality. And I am certain I am never the analytical thinker.
That's why I can never make a living off of playing in chess tournaments. I think I'll just waste my time by doing that.
Right now I know that I'm a good English essayer and a better English speaker. So what I don't speak like Shakespeare reincarnated? At least my accent's clear and people can understand what I'm saying.
But why can't I paste a few simple words together when that Arabic pakcik spoke to us in English.
Suddenly I felt a feeling that I haven't felt in a while when it comes to speaking with people in English.
I felt afraid;; I felt intimidated;; I felt my self-confident waver and leaving in my wake the very loud sound of my heartbeats. It's like waking up from a dream where there are streams of rainbows and we can eat unicorns' horns if we want horns ourselves;; to the harsh reality and realization that no;; rainbows cannot be drank and eating horns is about as similar as biting your fingernails which is fisgusting.
Suddenly I realized;; my English sucked. Worse;; it's sucking. I mean;; it's continuing to suck. Why did I let this happen to me? I used to read a lot. That's why I almost never study for English exams because I believe I studied all the time.
At that time I just let another friend of mine to do the English talking. Where is the lioness I useed to be and why is there a black lamb in it's place? Cowering like a coward;; and didn't even have courage to stutter broken English in front of an English speaker. I really need to realize these things earlier.
I don't want to gain new things but at the same time lost my old knowledge. I don't want to trade anything for myu intelligence;; because I know that is the price for other people's respect.
The conclusion of my un-introed ramblings?
I should revise more often.
HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAAHHAHA
I love short and simple conclusions the most.
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