Stalker Ants

It's really awkward;; you know;; seeing a few ants in my room and seeing that few ants in my toilet when I was showering.

I don't really know what to write.

So I'll answer basic questions and I guess that I can definitely move up from there yeah?

'How's the weather today?'

I think it was good. I was barely out that's why I don't really care. What I do know is that it doesn't rain because the wind would have been howling. the wind tends to be very vocal where I live. They love making horrid noises during rainy seasons and they also tend to cause a few uprooting of trees and snapping of strong thick barks which would double over and block the roads. That would cause traffic jams and unnecessary road blocks and during the harsh season with water torrenting down by the bucketload drivers and passenger the like only want to get into their safety of their homes so they don't have to die a horrible death by lightning.

'How's your day today?'

Ohhh nothing special. Just found a Naruto fanfiction that was BLOODY addictive. It ran over 14 chapters and I swallowed down the words eagerly without stopping unnecessarily (necessary stops would mean the trip to the toilet and when the azan sound in the air) for the whole day. I felt vaguely annoyed at myself for allowing myself to be controlled by a mere fanfiction.

'How are you today?'

Have been coughing nonstop for the past week. I don't want people to see me as someone who claimed coughing is a hobby or something. This is so not my favorite pastime. But I hate medicine;; especially ones that need to be dunked down your mouth and would slither down your throat and leave them dryer than before. I hate liquid medicine. Just gimme the goddamned pills because I'm an adult so I can handle a little swallowing and the momentary sensation of choking at the back of your throat. My least favourite type of illness is cough. I hate it when everytime I cough I feel bile rising but would be automatically gulped down instantly because that's a body thing;; just like feelings are girls' thing. I never mind getting  cold much because I've never been seriously affected by one:: well the last serious one I was bedridden for a few days. But those days sure were hazy and went by in a blur, Even forgot how to eat. Which is kinda funny. 

I guess that's the general idea?

Underaged Under Pressure

Human beings have the capacity to be either really really really really stupid or become totally brilliant at using their brains.
But the twist is;; they have a choice.
Whether you want to become dumb - or;; if you're already dumb;; dumber??
Or whether you chose to do the right thing and live with your head intact.
But;; like everyone choose to follow their desires.

• A choice between sleeping or not sleeping when you are on the net hooked on We Got Married Khuntoria Couple.

• A choice between studying or not studying because there's and exam tomorrow but you just want to keep on going watching Khuntoriaaaa!!

• A choice between resting your eyes by sleeping;; or achieving a major migraine in the morning resulting from the lack of sleep you have had yesterday.

• A choice between going  to shower because you've got class today and playing laptop because it just feels so good~

• A choice between posting or not posting because I've posted 2 frigging posts yesterday and I REALLY DO NEED TO STUDY.

Yeah be gone my carefree ways!
TT^TT
Allah;; help me in becoming an adult like NOW!!

Nagging machine

Do you know the sound a washing machine makes when it's doing it's work?


Hummmmmmmmm


Sometimes I laughed when I was alone with that thing and it's humming. Humming because it's spinning the clothes inside it's vast belly.


Some people could be just like that.


When doing some work;; even how trivial;; God help me;; there WILL  be noises. And not even cute noises that the washing machine made;; a hum like the constant sound of water running down a stream


1. Scene One


ACTION!


Mom :: "Aimad!! Go clean the dishes!! It's piling up in the sink and-IS THAT MOULD?!"
Aimad :: *rushed over* "Mom;; that's not mould! *pause* I think someone splashed black paint on it."
Mom :: "Then make it white again."
Aimad :: "Uh mom I kinda have things to do."
Mom :: "Like?"
Aimad :: "..Did I smell something? *sniffs himself* Yeah I have to bath"


Mom came and ran her fingers through his wet;; dripping hair.


Mom :: "Wash the dishes or I'll give your IPad to charity."


Aimad  is SPEECHLESSS... not.


Aimad;; being a mature;; rational 17 year-old who is so addicted to lollipop that he even brings it into the toilet;; STOMPED his feet!


Aimad :: "Mom you should buy black plates and stuff! Nobody cares if there's last year's baked beans stuck on it! Not if nobody could see it!" *accidentally slipped (somehow) and kissed the head pipe passionately (hoo he's like one-twentieth Italian)* OMFG THAT FREAKING HURTS! *hit the pipe head* Why is there need for plumbing here?! Just use a bucket la! Gosh! This thing could kill people!"




2. Scene Two


ACTION!


Mom is happily having afternoon tea in the kitchen;; with the window wide open and sliver of sunbeam streaming in. She was thinking of going out and she's all ready except..


For her tudung. (veil)


Mom :: "So troublesome to get upstairs and get it.. If only someone is kind enough to get it for me."


At that moment Aimad came into the kitchen! It's like her prayer's been answered by Allah!


Mom :: *sigh* "So troublesome to get upstairs and get my tudung.. If only someone is kind enough to get it for me." *sideway glance and BIG sigh*


Aimad went to the refrigerator;; opened the door and took out yesterday's pizza.


Mom :: "I thought I have a son with perfect eyesight to see that his mother's in distress."


Aimad;; unperturbed obviously;; put the last slice which is poor of pepperoni and rich filled with olives into the microwave.


Mom :: "I thought the child I gave birth to has perfect hearing and could hear her mother is in need of help."


Aimad hummed Twinkle Twinkle Little Star as he waited for the microwave to finish it's job.


Mom is clearly losing her temper because apparently anak dia bukan sahaja buta;; but also deaf.


Mom :: "Aimad! I'm talking to you!!!" 

Even a lion would shiver at the tone and volume of voice.


Aimad :: "Huh?! *innocently looked at his mother* Ingat ke tengah berzikir."
Mom :: "Aimad can you get my tudung from upstairs? I'm all set to go out but forgot all bout it!"
Aimad :: "WHAAAAATTT?!"
Mom :: "It's only upstairs go QUICK DO YOU LOVE ME OR NOT?!"


Aimad dragged his way to the stairs.


Aimad :: "Why don't you use the kain batik or something? Or that carpet! You can even use pots to cover your hair! OHHHH doing something as trivial as this- ME! And I need all the energy I have to water the plants or whatever-doing this will not get me muscles"


BLA BLA BLA




Yeah;; the second scenario's kinda stretching it.


Yes;; that's the human nagging machine that I unfortunately cannot switch off at pleasure.


Because she is currently a human being living at my house and incidentally happens to be my maid and everyday at dinner she will be eating with me and I will be hearing about her day;; and I will be wondering where my headband had gone. That cute orange one with yellow stripes!!


It's so annoying! Irritating! Imagine we are trying to eat over here and your maid is yabbering non-stop in an Indonesian accent about how she worked so hard today;; how my sisters have no manners;; how she's so tired;; how her back hurts so bad;; how   her whole body ached after washing the dishes..


And on. And on.


If you hear this everyday;; would you go crazy? 

Emptiness

I don't know why.
The only thing I look forward to right now is writing in my blog.
My heart is hurting;; because I should not been doing this to myself.
To anyone;; to my parents;; to my family.
As I write;; I realized more and more what I'm doing is really stupid.
I wanna stop but I don't know what else to do to fill this.
This aching spot.

The frigging workload

It's 3.38 AM.

I'm a frigging high-school student;; yet I'm up at this hour.

I wasn't even planning on blogging;; but I wanna tell someone about what I've been thinking about.

I wanna complain and blogging is the only way I can do it.

I was up at 3.15 AM;; got a shower cause I didn't get one yesterday:: I practically passed out after got home from school.

Tomorrow I have a Science Report due:: the drawing hasn't been sketched yet. I haven't memorized all of Yassin yet:: I'll have to stand in class for a whole hour of PQS. I also have to think about my club's softboard. Yeah;; the green one. And I also happen to be  a librarian:: I have to go there today at after-school hour to survey my work. And I have Tahfiz to think about! 

TT^TT

And the reason for me risking myself of getting caught by my parents at 3.00-ish opening the internet and using Adobe is Nedy:: I'm in the Graphics Team of the school's annual magazine for this year;; she's my manager. No;; my girl. I mean;; my .............

.

..

...

......

........

Monitor???

Al Fitnatul Laknatullah

In my whole fifteen years of living;; I’m glad I’ve learned a lot of things along the way. Some are bad habits I somehow picked up;; some;; I hope;; are good traits that people find attractive.

One of the most important thing I learn in life is the veiled darkness of told and spread lies.

Lies;; lies;; lies. Some of us are entangled in a web of lies so thick they can’t even move. That’s why we can’t even try to start lying. One lie leads to another. That’s because we would lie consistently to cover-up the lie(s) we made before.

Lies about others are called ‘fitnah’ in Islam. Islam is very strict when it comes to ‘fitnah’;; it is ‘haram’;; prohibited in the Islamic way of living. One who does it is the equivalent of one who eats the raw meat of another Muslim companion. Yuck!

TT^TT

Just imagine. Some of us can’t even smell a whiff of sushi before going to the toilet to puke. (This is imaginary supposedly true fact. I haven’t met someone like this before though) Imagine eating a slab of meat of human flesh;; still smelling of just-washed blood. Moreover from someone you know;; let’s assume it’s from someone you liked and talked on a daily basis.

Ohh;; migosh.

That. Is. So. Not. Cool.

Anyway;; since when is cannibalism ‘it’? Hello;; even nibbling ‘ikan blilis’ as lauk wit rice is frowned upon by righteous vegetarians. (This is just and over-exaggeration.. Really over!) More importantly;; apart from it’s totally freaky and gross;; it’s ‘haram’. And it’s against the moral values of humans and the works of nature.

And it hurts.

So bad;; that I’ve watched people cried tears of anger and hate. It’s so sad. Everyone is equal in Allah’s eye;; so who are we to judge other people? We don’t even know ourselves fully to begin with;; Astaghfirullahalazim.. ! Why do we have the right to make one feel so miserable? I know two friends who have fallen victims of fitnah. No;; three actually. They are very religious and very nice to everybody. They wouldn’t even hurt a fly!

But why is it there are rumors about them? It’s because of the existence of a few people whom find pleasure in hurting feelings.

So I can tell you that it hurts real bad when people talk about untrue things about you behind your back;; always whispering and giggling and never having the guts to say it to your face. It’s psychologically and emotionally painful. It’s torture in the purest form. Even the strongest of hearts among us will break eventually.

In this modern world;; things like this is almost always taken too lightly. It’s as if we are forced to become emotionless to survive in this rat race we didn’t even know we’re participating in.

Many people left their hearts at home when they go to work;; they didn’t accidentally forget about being nice to their people;; they are determined to forget that the people around them have emotions. They only care about themselves when they talk.

This is where our society was heading to;; unfortunately. And we can do as much as nothing;; except to watch helplessly and be consumed by this way of life. It’s not right.

Islam teach us to be selfless.

To care about others.

In everything we do;; there are bound to be consequences.

Our actions add up to our personality in people’s eyes.

And wouldn’t you agree that life is so much easier when everyone likes you? By not spreading ‘fitnah’ to doom the society with deteriorating moral values;; why not just shut your mouth when you feel that your words reeks of acid tinged with poison;; even when it’s topped with the reddest cherry?

Just think about it.

Gaah!

>:O

The Boat Of Life

This boat is rowing

By itself

The oars

Are afar away;;

Unreachable

The waves;;

Sometimes calm

Sometimes high

Sometimes murky;; sinister

Sometimes crystal clear

The sun

Dutifully shines everyday

In the sky

The moon

Will come out

To flirt with

The stars

The wind

Is gentle and kind

But can be

Angry and rough

It would

Touch my skin

And whisper

In my ear

Sweep away

My fear

Everything

Is doing something

I was

Sitting inside the boat

The world

Is always

Moving;;

Changing;;

Doing something

I was
Sitting on the boat

Just waiting

It’s my job

But can I do it well?

I keep wondering

Am I the right person?

And asking myself

Can I do this

My whole life?

best birthday ever!

My 15th birthday is my best so far.
The presents I got;;

• A rabbit Doodoll.It's a quite cute bunny!
• A chocolate cake that's terribly chocolatey!
• A box of Ferrero Rochere chocolates. Yummy!
• The trip to Dubai.
• Meeting Azza again.

The 14th;; 15th and 16th December was great;; I have a really great time!!

14th December::

• Intan's phone went missing. TT^TT. We searched everywhere in The Mall;; but to no avail. It's practically a waste of time! We called and called;; and searched and searched (might I add again;; EVERYWHERE);; but it's just no use. In the end we gave up. She cried. I feel bad for her too...! TT^TT
• My aunt treat me out to dinner :D. It's really awesome!
• She surprised me with taking Fara-san along too! I'm really glad... My cousin;; Intan;; recovered from her very dreadful loss and bounced back to happiness. I'm glad she's back okay again! TT^TT. Really touched that Fara-san come along with us!
• The day I got my first birthday present! Fara-san gave the box of Ferrero Rochere I talked about. Really excited!

15th December::

• Meeting an old friend in the lrt. Really great~~~~!!!! :D

16th December::

• Meeting my best friend for the first time in a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time!!! I really love her to death! XDDDDD
• Going to the infamous Times Square together.
• We just take lots and lots and LOTS of pictures of us together. It's really awesome;; since it's the christmaas season;; the mall is transformed! The Lower Ground level's center had become a little village with traditional yellow cobbled streets. There's also Santa's sledge and snowmen wearing scarves! And there's glittering snow hanging from the very high ceiling... It's very magical and surreal!!
• Getting another birthday present in the form of a cute chocolate cake! I'm really touched.. Because Azza made it herself!! TT^TT
• Locky;; Azza's little brother came along and got himself lost... We have to search for him! It doesn't help that there's no way for us to contact him since he didn't have a phone. >:O What really got me and Azza worked up is that he's our PHOTOGRAPHER!!! So;; when he's gone;; we couldn't capture pictures of us together anymore!! It sucks ;-( We finally found him after 4 hours.
• I got myself birthday presents of my own! XD Since Times Square is so full of VERY CHEAP AND PRETTY clothes;; I bought a weird-shaped dark grey buttoned-up shirt and a blue vest with chunky gleaming silver (really??? It looks like it..?!) buttons for RM10 each.. How's that?! I feel really satisfied with my puchases this time...! Because it's like;; really CHEAP!!!
• Getting really WET when I crossed the road to go to Jusco. Yesterday rained really hard. My left shoe got off while I'm running;; IN THE RAIN! It's really embarassing;; and I have to turn back around to put it back on. Thank God it's raining so heavily;; I think people don't notice... I think?!
• When I was enjoying my McFlurry Oreo at McDonald's;; I saw a friend at school that I was quite close to... I pointed at her and (she's so really slow in reacting) she screamed. No kidding! She's really excited upon seeing me. What's funny is;; when we sat down and have a lively chat together;; she said she was thinking of how to give my present to me. In her hand she was holding this plastic bag. I asked her what did she got for me;; and she said to have a look. She commented that when she looked at it;; she remembered me. I was really curious so I opened the wrapped present;; to reveal... A strict looking Doodoll bunny! I just laughed. She's really mean! It even have blue chest hair!! XDD But it was just a joke... And I know that thing must be quite expensive... I really appreciate it! It's cute...!

That's basically how the past three days have been... And it's been the best three days in my life so far! Especially yesterday;; and I have some 50 pictures to prove it!! I love you Fara-san;; Intan;; Diddy;; Azza;; Locky;; Sai;; Takeshi;; Alfonso;; and everyone who wished me a happy birthday!!! I really appreciate you guys;; it's the best birthday for me ever!!! :DD I hope I can spend much more time with you again;; Azza and Locky!

Ahaa ;P

My cousin

She's currently living with me
And she's ohh so stubborn!!!
>:C

I kinda dislike her..
And she's also selfish!

She sleeps with me in my room;; though in different beds;; mind;;
and she always piles up all the pillows on the bed she sleeps in;;
leaving me sleeping pillowless!

TT^TT

Sometimes she left me out..
Like yesterday;; she went out with my friend;;
without asking me to come along!!!

When I know that friend of mine surely asks about my absensce;;
but I know she'll answer that I said I didn't want to come along...

When she's the one who went out of the house with my aunt without my knowledge!

And then in the morning;; she tells me all about last night;;
I know she's trying to make me jealous..

TT^TT

But I'm tired of her;; I already know how she is in person;;
I'm tired of getting agry and pentin that emotion inside me..
So I decided to just let it go...

But I have a feeling that this will continue...
=_="

I don't know what's wrong with her;;
she's not really acting hostile towards me;;
but it's as if I'm the one in the wrong..

I get this feeling that she does all this on purpose!
Maybe I did something that made her feel hurt???

But when????
grr....!!!!

And I have to live with her till school starts..
My life had just turned sucky...??

My eyes are twitching .. So;; let's talk about writing

I have to go to sleep. Seriously.


The clock on the pc showed 1:05AM;; and I'm not really energetic. Like the title explained;; my eyes are twitching. I'm in agony here!!


But I don't want to sleep just yet. No;; don't wanna.


Woww;; I haven't posted a blog (post? haahaa) for like;; how long?? I think the time stretched for a VEEEEERRRYYYYYYY long time. Yes;; I do miss my blog. Yes;; I miss writing to my heart's content whatever was in my mind.


I miss doing them. Really.


But the problem is;; I seem to suffer from a case of writer's block. Haahaa I know;; I'm not even a real writer to begin with. And my hobby wasn't exactly writing stories;; they're too bothersome. The problem with me;; I think I don't have any ideas. I keep recycling other people's ideas;; and I always thought my rendition was really trashy.


Compared to other writers;; be it professionals or amateurs;; who are so serious on getting a piece of their work done and giving their full attention to their work;; I'm just a slacker. 


I like writing .. But I don't think I can be a writer though. I'm just too lazy;; and I was alo an irresponsible human being to begin with. Furthermore;; I'm not creative.


A writer needs a certain amount of creativity to be classified as one with dignity and charisma;; and in the literature world;; those traits goes a long way and also determined the authors' future carriers and popularity.


Heck;; I'm not even sure what I'm going to be in the future yet! Well;; but that doesn't really bother me;; as I think (like) (maybe) everyone around my age group haven't mapped out plans for the future out yet too.


So;; no worries;; just enjoy life as it comes ..


And try to make as much money as possible.


Talk about money;; popular authors must have a lucky charm implanted in their bodies or something. Just imagine;; working at home;; working for how long and at any time we want .. However we want!


In the office people have to wear formal uniforms. But writers;; well;; they work at home;; what's the point in making themselves look presentable?? I imagine that they would certainly eat while typing away on the keyboard. 


:D


Woww;; that's an awesome career;; don't you think?? And;; popular authors;; not only their working time is flexible;; they can also go on a vacation whenever they want;; using the ohhh-so-obvious excuse of finding inspiration.

>:(
 

And sometimes they even got sponsored for going on vacation! (I think)


So;; they actually have everything;; flexible work hours;; money;; and love. I mean;; love and adoration from the fans. And they got to be popular.


Fuuh~~


Sweet

Life

It's complicated
Nuff said . 


:D

New Love! <3

New favorite manga;; DOLL!! And I love the mangaka's other works too;; so deep and so moving ..


The manga was a collection of a couple of short stories .. That are surprisingly awesome! Just splendid stuff;; makes my heart beat in anticipation and dread when I finally realize what's in store for the characters ..


The characters in the manga are very well-drawn;; and I'll tell you that you will care if the character lives or dies. The plot can sometimes be unpredictable;; but I'll warn you;; there are some uncomfortable and grotesque things ..


And the drawings are enviable! The mangaka can draw expressions on the characters' faces very well!


The issues discussed in the manga are also quite disturbing and mind-prodding;; in short;; this is the kind of manga that will leave you wanting more after it was all over. This was my taste anyway;; I can't really guarantee 100% satisfaction;; as beauty is;; as everyone says;; in the eyes of the beholder.


What I find really interesting and mind-blowing might not be impressive for you;; but nevertheless this manga is absolutely worth checking-out. It's very heart-touching;; and made me cry ;(


Ahaa ;P

So;; this is basically what's it's all about::

There's this company;; they create dolls and sell them. These dolls are made to look like humans;; the company strives for perfection and customer-satisfaction. These dolls are basically robots;; they're strong;; they're emotionless and they're perfect;; in every way;; beautiful and unstained. They have no emotions;; no feelings;; and no desires. Their sole purpose is to serve their masters;; as long as they were needed. There also other parties who pushes the ambiguity between dolls and humans a bit further;; by giving services of to make the dolls more human-like;; you see;; they can actually be modified to bleed when slashed;; to leave a scar when it healed. So;; the compilations of short stories in this manga is basically about the relationship between humans and dolls;; and the reality that these humans were thrust into. All of the stories in this manga;; were about humans and dolls;; and some kinds of other stuffs as well ..

They are very haunting stories;; you'll find yourself getting troubled sometimes ... but they're brilliant!


Ohh;; but;; warning again;; there's some disturbed scenes;; but all in all;; it's a sweet treat!
So;; enough of blabbering! ;)

Haa;; here is the link::




DOLL:IC In A Doll

Just been dumped!!!

Oomg;;
I felt really bad!!
I've just been dumped by my dad!!


At this moment;; this time;;
I was supposed to be at the surau!
I was supposed to be praying the Terawih prayer with the others there!!


I really missed Terawih prayers at the surau;;
I mean I haven't gone there for a week now!!!
And today I finally got the chance to go there;;
my dad left me behind.


I was only having a mere 12 minutes or so shower! (Usually it's thirty minutes;; period!)
I was only late for a few measly seconds;; and I was left at home ...


There's really so much to love about the terawih prayers!
And;; what's more;; now is the last ten days in the month of Ramadhan!!
Ahaa ;P
This is so exciting;; as it's in this period of days that Lailatul Qadr will happen.

What is lailatul qadr?? It's practically the most awesomest night ever in this holy month. When we prayed on the Lailatul Qadr;; our prayers will be answered. Who prayed hard on that night;; the pahala is the same as praying for a thousand years.


Candy huh???
I know;; it's a treat!! And Lailatul Qadr is only available for the Prophet Muhammad's descendant ... I don't whether this last sentece is correct grammatically and literally ...


No matter! The point is;; I've been dumped.
By;; like;; the man I love the most on earth. This is soooooo devastating!!

Agenda of the DAY! Gah~

I have never set up goals for myself. People usually make goals for themselves every new year; but I didn't find that remarkably interesting. But today I will make an exception; as I am bored out of my wits now.

• Eat REALLY little
• Study
• Try to keep my mind off manga (gambatte~!!)
• Act appropriately at the kenduri kahwin (wedding ceremony) later in the day
• NO daydreaming
• Try to get the camera from my brother
• Try to be nice to my sisters
• Try to act like a perfect lady
• Look cool at the kenduri kahwin (not look like a fish out of water)
• Try to not make my dad angry

My stomach is screaming, "FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD~~~~!!! ARGH!!!!!"

Kinda sounds scary doesn' it? I just spooked myself